Just had a listen to version 2 -- glad to see you're not hanging around getting to the vocal! It is, after all, the start turn here, so I can certainly see where you're coming from by shortening the intro. Not sure the slightly glitchy intro effects really suit the style of the rest of the track, though -- it's just a bit too EDM!
The tambourine is an interesting addition, especially the way it changes the feeling of the verses by accompanying the kick drum. I think I rather like how that works, in fact -- a nice touch!
Overall, the first thing that hit me, though, was that the overall mix tonality felt a bit muffled, with a couple of decibels too much energy in the 150-250Hz region and too little above about 5kHz. Nothing a bit of master-buss EQ can't handle, but that said, you have a similar lack of bass-guitar low end as many of the other mixes, and I reckon your mix would benefit from a bit more of that instrument's fundamentals. You might have to cut a touch of the kick-drum's extreme LF to make space, and I don't think that really hurts the song, as it'll tend to make the groove skip a bit more lightly.
The vocal tonality feels like it's a little to heavy on the low mids, which makes for a slightly congested tone. On the one hand that low-mid energy helps it sound more solid in the balance than in some of the mixes I've heard on this sub-forum, but it's at the expense of a touch of muddiness overall whenever the singer's active. Admittedly, the whole issue of how to get this vocal sitting solidly in the mix is one of the critical issues with this multitrack, so whatever the solution it's likely to involved a bit of 'smoke and mirrors' -- you know, ducking things in some way when the vocal's present, either with side-chains or automation. By comparison with the lead vocal, the backing vocals feel a touch too crispy, so I'd probably try to tame those a little -- it's a shame to have the backing vocals sounding more upfront than the lead, I reckon.
Overall the drums work quite well for me. I like your toms tone in particular, and the way those drums cohere fairly effectively with the kit as a whole, which is something that's been a bit wayward overall on the mixes I've heard so far. The low tom probably has a bit too much 'woof' at the low end, though -- it just seems a too 'large' to match the rest of the kit.
Hope some of the above makes sense and is helpful -- and thanks for posting!