I'm not a pro, so take this with a pinch of salt, but here are a few comments:
hum before the song is annoying,
pitch-shifting the whole song makes for really interesting vocal timbre :-)
lots of recording artifacts/problems audible,
the lows and low-mid balance seems uneven before 1:13,
in the chorus at 1:35, with all the instruments playing at the same time, the vocal seem to lack space around it to breathe (sounds a bit claustrophobic),
at around 1:55 some low vocal phrases clash with the lower guitar and don't sound clear,
bass fill at 2:06 is buried (could be a bit more prominent).