I think you are using the DI rhythm guitars.. I would very much like to hear the distortion ones that came with the files. the DI's are usually for you to run them through an amp emulator.
DEFINITELY BETTER THAN THE FIRST ONE THOUGH!.. You should listen to some reference songs in youtube so you get a better grasp of how a song of that genre should sound.
Agree, the first was kick heavy, but hey I like a good kick myself (Some people want to kick me!)
The second version is heading in the right direction, keep at it.
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