Is was just listening to your mix on a pair of consumer-grade headphones, and compared with the original mix, you are - surprisingly - not that far off. Still, the original mix has more separation and a lot more weight, and it also sounds more hifi. For example, the guitar melodies are much clearer in the original, thanks to them being more separated from the rhythm guitars. That`s true for almost all of the instruments, so my advice would be:
- try to separate the tracks a bit more, e.g. rhythm guitar tracks don`t need as much highs as melody guitars, whereas melody guitars can still sound amazing even if you cut away most of their lower frequencies. On their own, they might sound like crap, but in a dense mix, this will give you the clarity and separation you need.
- do A LOT more automation. There are so many little details on so many tracks in this song that you can highlight as a mixer, and most of them only need a short 3 or 6db boost for them to shine. Automation is where the magic really is, getting the sound right is only half of the mixing. A balanced, but completely static mix can probably be already done by A.I., but what A.I. can`t do is add life to a song by automating different parameters within the mix, highlighting details, making things louder and moving them in the spotlight or vice versa.
- stay away from reverb as much as you can - treat it like it is the devil. use it sparingly, and only use it when there is a clear reason for it. I´ve listened to countless mixes on this forum, and if I have to name one thing that immediately marks a mix "amateurish", it would be excessive use of reverb. If you are looking for depth, most tracks are better of with a delay anyway. There is almost zero reverb in the original mix. Yes, there is some reverb on the vocals (sometimes more, sometimes less, depending on the situation) and a touch of reverb on the snare, but other than that it`s used as an effect. Use the mix knob of the reverb like a volume fader and add a bit more reverb when the arrangement of the song is calling for it, and remove reverb when it gets dense and intense. Tip: If you can clearly hear the reverb as an effect on its own within the mix and not as a "colour" that adds depth to the original track, it`s too much reverb! And if in doubt, always go for less reverb, not more.
- try to separate the tracks a bit more, e.g. rhythm guitar tracks don`t need as much highs as melody guitars, whereas melody guitars can still sound amazing even if you cut away most of their lower frequencies. On their own, they might sound like crap, but in a dense mix, this will give you the clarity and separation you need.
- do A LOT more automation. There are so many little details on so many tracks in this song that you can highlight as a mixer, and most of them only need a short 3 or 6db boost for them to shine. Automation is where the magic really is, getting the sound right is only half of the mixing. A balanced, but completely static mix can probably be already done by A.I., but what A.I. can`t do is add life to a song by automating different parameters within the mix, highlighting details, making things louder and moving them in the spotlight or vice versa.
- stay away from reverb as much as you can - treat it like it is the devil. use it sparingly, and only use it when there is a clear reason for it. I´ve listened to countless mixes on this forum, and if I have to name one thing that immediately marks a mix "amateurish", it would be excessive use of reverb. If you are looking for depth, most tracks are better of with a delay anyway. There is almost zero reverb in the original mix. Yes, there is some reverb on the vocals (sometimes more, sometimes less, depending on the situation) and a touch of reverb on the snare, but other than that it`s used as an effect. Use the mix knob of the reverb like a volume fader and add a bit more reverb when the arrangement of the song is calling for it, and remove reverb when it gets dense and intense. Tip: If you can clearly hear the reverb as an effect on its own within the mix and not as a "colour" that adds depth to the original track, it`s too much reverb! And if in doubt, always go for less reverb, not more.