11-05-2014, 10:29 PM
Honestly, I feel this version and your previous one are pretty much an even match. Since Metallurgist is the one who had the issue I'll defer to him here if you want to try to improve it further but, for my money, you're already doing just fine. 
Although I did find the guitar on the right a wee bit sharp a little after 3:00 here. Not a big deal, just a brief distraction...
Oh BTW regarding that abrupt ending. If that's the effect you were going for that's fine but I'm afraid I have to agree with Voelund on that; it's a little distracting, like taking a nice cruise on an open highway and suddenly slamming into a brick wall...
Although I did find the guitar on the right a wee bit sharp a little after 3:00 here. Not a big deal, just a brief distraction... Oh BTW regarding that abrupt ending. If that's the effect you were going for that's fine but I'm afraid I have to agree with Voelund on that; it's a little distracting, like taking a nice cruise on an open highway and suddenly slamming into a brick wall...