Nice. The keyboard swells between verses, while cool, seem to overwhelm the guitar figures during this section. Coming out of the break into the guitar solos the energy drops. I think maybe a brighter more solid snare would help solve that there. I do like your emphasis of the keys. It lends a different feel to the song. No doubt, another good listen. Nice.
It's a bit noisy at the top. Not sure where that's from. There are definitely noisy guitars but this is an overall hiss. I don't know how to express this but there feels like a "hole" in the verses. Like some midrange of the previous guitars aren't present in the verse. Like there's only the guitar effects in the mix for guitars...3&4 (i don't know if that's right, just going from memory).
I'm missing the organ. I can sense it but it could add more to the song.
Not sure what you're considering the chorus in the above post but I think the section at about 2:20 could be wider. That section could 'bloom' more.
Then and the next section feel a bit 'constrained'. If it helps put that rhythmic section of guitar 2 on it's own track and let the leads be leads.
The solo feels a bit loud but makes the rest of that section feel smaller. Still, it feels musical. Viscerally it works.
Overall it's very listenable. There are some points to consider but the vocal is there and it feels good and nothing annoys me as a listener.
Can not hear the hiss. That doesn't mean it isn't there. I'm oldnot 18 anymore.
Thanks for listening and the comments.
I've tried to get the busier part a bit more rockist and messed up the bassdrum sound somewhat.
It doesn't have to sound good to move people - David Byrne