Here's my rendition of this rather strange tune... wanted to keep the "breathy" sound cause it makes it more creepy
loved the rawness of the guitars, so I didn't eq at all....had more trouble with the kick, so I just replaced it. Used mainly the overheads for the drums... a bit "crisp" but I kinda like it (maybe my hearing is going) anyway, here it is!
The opening vocal phrase, with all the noise, just did not get handled well here. Your gate was a bit too severe when compared to the balance of the vocal track. I would have opted for an expander with a slower attack which would not have cut out the phrases so quickly. I think if you had opted for a bit more environment on the vocal it may have helped hide the abrupt shutdowns better, as well. I think you could have automated the vocal in places throughout the song as there are significant level difference in the comp used to assemble the track. I do like your harmonizer effects on some parts of the vocal. While your sounds are generally good, I feel that balances are off in many places. My take is that subtlety is called for and some of the balance choices are too glaring as opposed to laid back and intriguing. Those kinds of decisions I think help pull the listener into a song.