I like the effects you've used -- very atmospheric and trippy, and very much in keeping with the spirit of the track in my view. There are couple of slightly odd momentary 'dry-outs' at 0:09 and 3:01, though, which (although quite arresting) feel like maybe they're a bridge too far for the style. I also like the way you've taken a few liberties with the vocal arrangement using those other vocal takes -- it's a breath of fresh air for me after hearing it the same way for so long now!
Overall the balancing feels pretty sensible to me as well, although you've chosen a softer and breathier vocal tone than I did on my Mix Rescue version so that inevitably shifts things around a bit. Is the lead vocal perhaps just a little to loud overall, though, especially compared with the bass? It's a judgement call, admittedly, but it seems a bit too 'pop' at the moment somehow. One thing that definitely bugs me, however, is that the hi-hat has some really piercing top-octave components on it (especially at around 15kHz), and this combines with the crispy highs you've added to the vocals to give my ear-drums a light sand-papering!
If simple EQ is too destructive, then it might be that a dynamic EQ or multi-band compressor might tame this without altering your overall drum tone too much.