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John A Ardelli- Asiza
#1
Wow! what a fun piece to mix! The effects I used are quite literal and (I hope) enhance the story and draw the listener in.


.mp3    John A Ardelli- Asiza (online-audio-converter.com).mp3 --  (Download: 12.69 MB)


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#2
(11-10-2017, 02:21 PM)wehale Wrote: Wow! what a fun piece to mix! The effects I used are quite literal and (I hope) enhance the story and draw the listener in.

Um...

I'm in a quandry here...

I want to be supportive of mix engineers trying to perfect their craft. Usually that's not difficult here. Most mixes, even if I don't like them at first, usually have good elements, so I use those good elements as a foundation for my more critical thoughts so as to keep the mixing engineer's confidence high enough to address their mix's shortcomings and come back with a stronger mix.

The problem is, in this case, the only thing I can find in this I like is the fact that my voice remains intelligible throughout which, given this mix's shortcomings, is no mean feat I must admit...

So, wehale. Let me just be honest from here.

Right off the bat, my voice sounds harsh and brassy here to the point where sibilants are actually distorting. The noise floor was also incredibly high, the entire mix awash in it as if it were recorded on Type I cassette without any noise reduction.

The sound effects and music, though they do not drown out the voice per se, are way too loud against the voice; it just drags you out of the mood.

But those are minor issues compared to what happens at the later in this mix.

In the "Read Me" post in this thread, I explained:

"Although all automation has been removed the music and sound effects have been edited to sync up with the dialogue, though there are some cases where the sound effects that were meant to be faded in and out begin running earlier, or keep running later, than they were intended to in the final mix. I leave it to you to figure out how YOU want to weave the sound effects and music together."

I pointed this out specifically hoping that people would understand that these sound effects were not meant to play as they are; they are meant to be faded in and out at appropriate times in the story.

In this mix, it doesn't sound like any automation has been done on the levels at all. During the Christmas tree decorating party not only can we still hear the cars on the highway (which you'd never hear like that inside the house) we can also hear the tree being chopped; that hasn't even been mentioned in the story at that point. Then, towards the end, when Robert talks about his boring office job and having the forest cleared, during the final scene which has nothing to do with the office job or the clearing of the forest we can still hear the bulldozer, the office sounds, the forest and the lake all at once in a cacophonous mess that totally destroys the quiet mood required by this part of the story. The adding machine in the office was particularly distracting here; that track should have been faded out long ago.

I wanted to like this, I really did, but I just couldn't. This is my work; I had to be honest about what I'm hearing.

If you feel up to it, I wouldn't mind hearing a second attempt at it by you. But before you make that second attempt please bear in mind that the sound effects tracks are not intended to be played as is; they must be faded in and out at appropriate moments.

If you'd like to get a better idea what I'm getting at here before you make another attempt my own original mix is available on the "Support Him" link on the download page (the original quality 24-bit master is available for download there as well).

I'm glad you had fun mixing it, and I hope my honest opinion here doesn't take any of that fun away for you.
John A. Ardelli
Pedaling Prince Pictures
http://www.youtube.com/user/PedalingPrince
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#3
Hi, i appreciate the feedback. I'm sorry that you didn't like my mix but I do and absolutely stand by it. The reason I left all of the effects you mentioned in their original state was to build tension and to emphasise that Roberts life was becoming hectic...so hectic that he destroyed his first love. I think that your voice sounds soothing...just as you'd read a bed time story to a child
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#4
Your opinion hasn't taken way from my enjoyment :-)
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#5
Top tip about sibilence, thanks I'll apply that to my next mix :-)
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#6
(12-10-2017, 08:34 AM)wehale Wrote: I'm sorry that you didn't like my mix but I do and absolutely stand by it. The reason I left all of the effects you mentioned in their original state was to build tension and to emphasise that Roberts life was becoming hectic...so hectic that he destroyed his first love.

OK... but that doesn't explain why, during the Christmas tree decorating party, we can hear the tree being chopped down long before it's even mentioned...

Quote:I think that your voice sounds soothing...just as you'd read a bed time story to a child

Thanks. Nice choice of words; that was exactly the feeling I was going for. Smile
John A. Ardelli
Pedaling Prince Pictures
http://www.youtube.com/user/PedalingPrince
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#7
I thought the sound of a tree being chopped down at that point was intentional to serve as an anticipatory factor.
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#8
(12-10-2017, 05:18 PM)wehale Wrote: I thought the sound of a tree being chopped down at that point was intentional to serve as an anticipatory factor.

No; that was intended to be faded in as Robert is talking about chopping down the tree.

You see, when lining up the sound effects with the narration I just dropped them unedited into the timeline, knowing that I'd be automating the levels and fading them in and out, anyway. For example the lake sound continues across the entire multitrack (the original was a long sound) but is only intended to play during scenes at the house after the forest is cleared, at the beginning and end of the story.

I didn't include the automation so that anyone mixing this would have complete control over exactly when and how quickly the fades happen; that's part of the fun of mixing work like this. I also expect that people might go in and wholesale replace sound effects or music in the track, or add or remove appropriate sound effects or music. Hell I think it'd be pretty cool if someone with musical talent who enjoyed the story enough wrote original music for it. Cool

But the sound effects, as provided, are simply not intended to play as is.
John A. Ardelli
Pedaling Prince Pictures
http://www.youtube.com/user/PedalingPrince
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